


Wait for Now

by Skylar102



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Crying Alec Lightwood, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Worried Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:21:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23319769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylar102/pseuds/Skylar102
Summary: How long for the perfect time?If not now then when? Oh, how long?No, don't be silentWe can be true againNo need to waitWait for now
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 29
Kudos: 101
Collections: Fluff vs. Angst Battle 2020





	Wait for Now

**Author's Note:**

> Alec crying again? People are going to start assuming things about me xD
> 
> Title from Wait for Now by The Cinematic Orchestra

The door to the loft closes gently behind him. Alec leans against it closing his eyes and takes a deep breath. He tries to ignore the shuddering exhale that leaves his lungs. It had been a rough day to say the least at the institute.

Alec is used to the Clave bearing down on him about how he runs things, but today it felt like it was criticism after criticism. Alec hadn’t even sat down at his desk this morning and already his phone had been blowing up with email notifications. He barely had time to go over patrol reports for the previous night with all the work the Clave sent him that day. 

_ Lightwood, correct this _

_ Lightwood, clarify that _

_ Lightwood, stop being incompetent _

_ Lightwood, why are you even the Head _

_ Lightwood, you are not good enough _

He lets out a single sob at that last thought. Quickly covering his mouth to hide the noise, he looks around the loft to see any sign of Magnus’ presence. He straightens himself from the door and makes his way to the living room keeping an eye out for the warlock.

“Magnus?” he calls out into the silence. With no sign of his boyfriend, he releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He rubs a hand down his face trying to compose himself, holding off the tears that are trying to fall.

He stands there in the living room for a moment before deciding he should go take a shower. Showers were always a way to relieve himself of the day’s stress. He enters the bedroom, taking off his shirt as he walks towards the bathroom. He reaches for the knob and turns the shower on. Immediately steam begins to fill the room. 

The perks of having a warlock boyfriend is that he didn’t have to wait for the heat to kick up nor did he have to worry about taking a cold shower like he did at the institute. He goes about undoing his thigh holster, which drops to the floor with a loud band. Reaching for his belt he looks up and catches himself in the mirror.

Alec has never hated his appearance more than in that moment. Bracing his hands on the bathroom sink he got a closer look at his face. Red, bloodshot eyes stare back at him with streaks of tears already streaming down his cheeks. Alec hadn’t even felt them fall. The face staring back at him didn’t feel like his. All he saw was a failure. 

Alec couldn’t stop the sob that fell past his lips even if he tried. He covered his mouth in a poor attempt to muffle his cries as he stumbled away from the counter. His back hit the bathroom door as he slowly slid down and curled up. Tucking his head between his knees, he lets out every emotion he felt throughout the day.

* * *

A portal opens in the loft’s entryway. Magnus steps into the loft with a sigh of relief, happy to be home after the hectic day he had in London. The High Warlock of London had an issue getting the ingredients right on a potion for a sick Seelie and had called Magnus to help. It then got out of hand from there and Magnus found himself aiding Malcolm for the rest of the day as more sick Seelies were showing up at his door step . Turns out they had all gone to a party the night before and drank some bad punch that didn’t agree with their magic. 

It was just past 1am in London when he arrived back in his New York loft, the clock on the wall stating that it was just shy of 7pm. Magnus grins knowing that it means that his shadowhunter is home from work. Talk about perfect timing.

Magnus looks around the loft for any sign of his boyfriend when he spots light pouring out of their bedroom. He enters the room and spots the discarded shirt that he has seen Alec in earlier this morning. Magnus catches the sound of the shower running and a smirk appears on his face. Behind that door was a poor shadowhunter naked and alone, probably in need of some company in the shower. 

Magnus makes his way to the door and his hand pauses just shy of the knob. He tilts his ear towards the door and hears the faint sounds of someone crying. He grabs the knob and tries to turn it only to find it locked. Alec never locks the door to the bathroom, he knows that Magnus likes to join him for his showers when he can. Panic begins to crawl up his spine.

“Alexander,” Magnus speaks softly, trying to not let the worry come out of his voice. 

There’s no response on the other side, just more of the muffled sobbing. He knocks and a thump responds on the door followed by a curse.

“Alec are you okay?” Magnus tries for the door knob again, seeming to forget that it was locked. 

“Sorry,” Alec's hoarse voice says from the other side. “I’ll be out in a moment. I’m, uhhh, about to hop in the shower.”

Magnus can hear Alec try to hide his cries and his heart breaks even more. He doesn’t hear his boyfriend move from his position on the floor and decides to sit down against the door himself. Magnus knew that Alec still struggled with his emotions. It was extremely rare for Magnus to see this side of him, no matter how many times he told Alec to come to him. In a way he understands, when you’ve been ingrained since a child to believe something about yourself it takes years to unlearn it. He could easily use magic to unlock the door and get to Alec, but that would be an invasion of privacy that Magnus would never break. He knows what it’s like to have a time where you’re at your most vulnerable be invaded by someone who doesn’t listen.

So Magnus waits. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Skylar10211)
> 
> Want to talk about Shadowhunters with other fans?
> 
> [Join our Discord!](https://discord.gg/fhbfNFA)


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